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Life does not always go to plan. I know that through bitter experience. In fact, life rarely goes to plan. When those curve-balls that life can throw up come at decent intervals, it’s not too hard to put your game-face on and tell the world that all around you is well and you are winning, even when inside your heart would tell a different story. But when those curve-balls rain down with relentless venom, or they come from a place so extreme that it is hard to bear, you have a choice: crumble or conquer.

Giving up or getting over is a mater of choice when it comes to how we feel and how we respond. Easy to say, hard to do; I know that only too well. But hard does not equate to impossible, and that is worth dwelling on.

Right now our lives are so far off plan that it’s hard to comprehend; and the last 12 months have felt like we have had a never ending tsunami of curve-balls coming from extremes more far-reaching than I would have dreamed possible. I’d love to be able to tell you that I woke each morning and chose to conquer the feelings of despair and despondency, but if I did I would be lying. In fact, the truth of the matter is that I have spent more days giving up than I have getting over, and I could point to all sorts of scape-goats for that, but the reality is that I chose to give up; or rather I did not choose to get over, and thus I gave up by default.

Part of the difficulty was that I didn’t have a focus that stretched into the future. When we started our Forever Living business, suddenly I had a focus. The curve-balls kept, and indeed keep, coming, but now I know we are on a track that leads into the future. Do I believe we are on the right track for the future we want? No. I know we are on the right track for that future – all we need to do is keep going: refuse to give up and insist on getting over.

These days I choose to conquer the despair and the despondency, and in so doing I choose to take hold of our future and defeat every obstacle that comes my way. And when those curve-balls come, I remind myself that ‘I am the Captain of my Soul’, and, swinging my bat, I send them back from whence they came.

We hear it a lot, don’t we – the motivational speakers trying to inspire us by telling us we can take on the world and win; if only we would eliminate the word “can’t” from our vocabulary. The reality is that they are largely on the money, but they are on a hiding-to-nothing because 99% of us just plain don’t believe it, and will never believe it no matter how many times we are told it. The basic fact of the matter is that when it comes to confidence and self-belief, realisation comes through doing, not hearing.

When Kate and I started a charity back in 2003 we were inspired by the encouragement of some truly great people we were privileged to meet in the ‘States. These guys had such a ‘can-do’ attitude that it was impossible not to be swept along as we were encouraged to give things a try; but we never believed we could do it until we did it. The difference this time was that we had an chance to put into practice the encouraging words we were hearing: we were encouraged to try, and we had the opportunity to give it a go.

It’s those two components that are essential to replacing “can’t” with “can” – the encouragement and the opportunity. For most of us when we hear the encouragement, be it from a motivational speaker, poster or some other source, we tend think “sounds great, but that’s just impossible for me”. I know that’s how I used to think: I thought “can do” but believed “can’t do”. I believed I couldn’t for all sorts of reasons, but the main one was that I felt trapped by my circumstances, and to take a risk was out of the question: I couldn’t see the opportunity to put the words into practice.

Then things changed: my hand was forced, a change in circumstances over which I had no control occurred and I suddenly found myself at a crossroads. Thanks to my amazing wife (she found the Forever opportunity and harangued me until I took a look) we took the right turn, and together we find ourselves part of a truly amazing scenario. We find ourselves surrounded by a positivity that is trying to convince us that we can take on the world and win; and alongside that we find ourselves inside an opportunity that is proving to us that we can.

You can’t change your life until you change your thinking; but you can’t change your thinking until you put theory into practice. It can feel a bit chicken-and-egg, but when it comes to changing your thinking and changing your life you need both the encouragement to have a go, and the opportunity to actually do it. In Forever we found both. We find ourselves utterly immersed in a can-do world, but we also find ourselves living out an opportunity to take the encouragement and put it into practice.

Have we achieved our goals yet? No. Do we think we can? Yes. Do we believe we will? Absolutely!!

What about you? When you think about your goals, are they achievable as things stand? Can you take the encouragement you receive and turn it into a reality? If the answer to that is ‘No’ then we urge you to find your opportunity – whether it’s Forever or something else, find it, take hold of it and take the first step into the life you have always wanted – a life where there is no such thing as can’t.

When you tell someone about a hope, dream, scheme or goal you make it real. The same is true of your ‘Why’. While the only person who knows about it is you, the temptation to change it increases and its ability to carry you through both the highs and the lows is diminished. Telling someone what your ‘Why’ is, just the basic act of speaking it out loud to another person, brings it to life and makes it a living, breathing integral part of your journey.

I have spoken out my ‘Why’ many times: I share it each time I do a one-to-one and every time I am asked why I am doing what I am doing. I have already shared the negative driver that is the foundation of my primary motivation right now, but there are a number of from positive elements to my ‘Why’, and I am going to share those here.

I have a great many ways in which I long to lose my gifts and talents, but none of them will pay the bills; in fact most of them wont pay anything at all. Every time I have found myself in regular full-time employment, which has been the majority of my working life, I have felt like a fish out of water, a square peg in a round hole. In recent years I have come to understand why I feel that way: when I am at work I cannot be who I am through what I do.

For a number of years my goal has been to pay the bills in the shortest time possible in order to free up enough time to be able to do the things that bring me to life: the things that allow me to be who I am by doing that which is at the core of my essence. Every minute spent at work felt like a minute dragging me further away from my goal and deeper into a cage that was holding me back. Gradually, like a tiger caged in a zoo, I was becoming sensitized to my surroundings, accepting my captivity and losing sight of my true essence. My awareness of this was like torture, and I am sure contributed heavily to my cycle of depression and stress-related illness.

In Forever Living I found a vehicle for my dreams: a way of working that would not only give me the chance to pay the bills in part-time hours, thereby releasing time to pursue those things that I find life-giving, but a model that offered such a high degree of synergy with my mantra for life – unleashing potential – that I could do nothing other than engage with it.

My ‘Why’ is the desire to give myself away: to family as a husband, father, son and brother; to friends as a comrade and fellow sojourner; to those in need as one who brings love to the loveless, faith to the faithless and hope to the hopeless; and to world-changers as one how can help to unleash potential. Underpinning that is provision that is sufficient so that we can live without worry or stress and live with more smiles on our faces than tears in our eyes, having fun in all that we do and experiencing life in all its fullness rather than persevering in the drudgery of existence.

In short, my ‘Why’ is the desire to be free to be who I am in all that I do. In Forever Living I found the route to that desire. What do you desire in life – I mean really desire in the hidden places of your soul, and how are you going to get it?

…and it’s up to you to take it.

There is an argument, which has some validity, that we can become so enthusiastic about what we are doing that we become a bore and a chore to be around, constantly banging-on about our business and our products, whatever they may be. Striking a balance between generating contagious enthusiasm and generating fear and dread at your very appearance is tricky, but Forever Living offers a product and a business opportunity that changes lives, so it is a balance worth finding.

Every conversation is a chance to share the product and the business; but the key to doing this effectively lies in remembering that we are not in the business of selling people something they neither need or want: in fact, we are not in the business of selling at all. We are in the business of recommending, and it is that which, in my opinion, sets Forever Living apart.

The requirement to ‘sell’ imposes a pressure; and from that pressure can flow a desperation that manifests itself in pushiness. By dealing in recommending rather than selling – whether product or business opportunity – that pressure is removed and replaced with a freedom to focus not on your own ambitions but rather on the person with whom you are engaged.

It is impossible to recommend a solution to a problem unless you understand what that problem is; and to understand the problem you have to ask questions, think about the answers, and probe and probe some more until we have gathered enough information and facts to be able to offer a relevant response, even if that response is to admit you cannot help on that occasion.

Furthermore, there is no room for pushiness in a recommendation. The minute you begin to push the product or opportunity you move from helper to hinderer: you become someone focused on selling. The elimination of pushiness creates a dynamic that is liberating for both you and the person with whom you are engaged; without the requirement to ‘nail the sale’ there is no pressure on either side, and that makes for a more relaxed interaction.

It is because I can enjoy the freedom that flows from recommending rather than selling that I have the confidence to seize every opportunity as being one in which there lies the potential to introduce someone to something potentially life changing – whether in the form of a product that may positively impact their health, or a business that may positively impact their circumstances.

It’s not up to me to ‘close the deal’ – my responsibility is to make the right recommendation and to respect the decision of the person to whom it was made. And that is one of the things that makes this business so fantastic, and means that everything becomes an opportunity to help someone else in a really practical way.

I’ve already talked about how important your ‘Why’ is, whether you are in an MLM business, a self-employed enterprise, employed, or just for life in general. I’ve also talked about how it’s OK to be driven by a motivator that is born out of a negative. Now I want to talk about how your ‘Why’ is precisely that – your‘Why’.

I’ve been to a number of presentations since joining Forever Living, and I am always impressed by the clarity with which the presenters can articulate their “Why”. I am also always struck by how personal they are: each and every one is deeply connected the essence of that person. It would be very easy to think that your ‘Why’ needs to conform to some standard or expectation imposed by others.

In the world of MLM you hear stories of amazing wealth creation, fantastic homes and holidays, and generally amazing lifestyles; and you will hear people stand on stage and explain how those things are their heart-felt ‘Why’. It would be easy to fall into the trap of believing that your ‘Why’ needed to be one that shows off the trappings of ‘success’; but success is a subjective thing, and how I define it may well not coincide with how you would define it, so unless success for you is bound up in the material trappings that flow from incomprehensible income levels, don’t make those things your ‘Why’.

I’ll say it again – your ‘Why’ is your ‘Why’, and if you allow yourself to take on the mantel of someone else’s ‘Why’ it will quickly become something that, far from giving you purpose, drive and determination, weighs you down – a burden that gradually saps your energy and enthusiasm.

For some people a big income, a fine house and a fast car ticks every box – and if that is you then, whether in MLM or in some other enterprise, you need to go for it. For some people, covering the bills and having the majority of their time free to spend with kids, family and friends is what drives them to get out of bed. For some people it will be a combination of the tangible (money) and the intangible (time).

Your ‘Why’ cannot be right or wrong – it’s not an exam answer that other people get to assess – it’s yours, you own it, you shape it, you live it. The only time a ‘Why’ can be wrong is when it’s not honest, not true to who you are, because if you don’t really believe in it it will not be the thing that keeps you going in the hard times.

In the next post I’m going to share my ‘Why’ for doing Forever Living, but in the meantime I’d love to encourage you to spend some time discovering and shaping your why, and then invest yourself in it because the returns will be fantastic.

Following on from my last post – ‘What’s your Why?’ – I thought it would be helpful to offer a little insight into my ‘Why’. Kate and I have a lot of shared reasons for doing this business, but we also have some very strong personal motivations; Kate can speak for herself, so I’ll just tell you about mine.

I have lots of very positive reasons for doing this business, and I’ll share those in forthcoming posts, but perhaps (at the moment, at least) my most pressing motivation is rooted in an overwhelming desire to avoid a negative; but this just serves to highlight how amazing this business is – even the negatives can be turned into something positive!

10 years ago I was ill, very ill. It started with e-coli and finished with a stress-induced melt-down. I spent the best part of 2 years out of work; I couldn’t walk up stairs without sitting down half way up; and I went from running companies in distress to standing in the kitchen looking at the component parts of a cheese sandwich and not being able to work out how to put them together. It was a long old road back from that place, but I travelled that road and I came out the other side. In February of this year I got e-coli again. For a man to get it once is unusual, but twice? I recognised the signs and realised that being forced out of a job, the death of my father and moving house in the space of just a few months was taking its toll. I was facing a repeat performance of April 2000, and I wasn’t prepared to go to that place again.

My most dominant ‘Why’ at the moment is born out of the fear of having to go back into a regular workplace. I want to work, but that environment is toxic for me. It made me ill once, and nearly did it again this year, and my fear is that if I cross that line again I may not get back from the other side in one piece. The thought of having to work in the traditional sense again fills me with dread: it steals my peace and drains my energy.

And so I am determined to make this business work, and to make it work quickly, so that I don’t have to subject myself to the thing I dread. I am driven by a negative, but in avoiding that negative I will negotiate a path to a positive place. So, in finding your ‘Why’, be honest. Don’t fall into the trap of being ‘super-positive’. It’s OK to acknowledge the negative: the trick is not to own it – acknowledge it but don’t hold onto it, and be sure to harness all of the power that lies in the negative and use it to drive you into something positive.

In multi-level marketing opportunities you hear the question ‘what’s your why?’ quite a lot. It’s not unique to MLM enterprises: anybody working for themselves will have figured out the answer to this question when they got going; in fact, while they may not dwell on this specific question, anyone who gets up and goes to work for someone else will also be able to find an answer to this question. While we can all find an answer to the ‘why question’, it’s fair to assume that for many of us it doesn’t really seem that relevant, particularly when we can easily answer it with “because I have to”.

However, for those of us working with an MLM opening – whatever guise that may take – our ‘Why’ is crucial. Without your ‘Why’ we run the risk of floundering, of losing focus, of giving up. The key to success in MLM is tenacity, with a healthy dose of common-sense and a pinch of realism to add a bit of balance as we pursue your dreams. If your ‘Why’ isn’t strong, if it doesn’t resonate with your soul and set your heart racing, then when the tough times come – the knocks, bumps and disappointments – and they will come,then the feeling of aimless drifting will begin to envelope you.

It’s your ‘Why’ that gives you that fixed point towards which you can relentlessly travel, even when the wind may blow you off course for a while. It’s your ‘Why’ that is the seed for the vision for your life that you are, maybe for the first time, building or refining. It’s your ‘Why’ that gives you ‘stickability’ – a determination to keep going. It’s your ‘Why’ that diminishes the impact of disappointments – and you will have disappointments. It’s your ‘Why’ that magnifies the joy of your successes – and you will have successes!

Even if MLM is not for you the I still want to encourage you to find your ‘Why’. Maybe a standard 9-5 with all its security is your thing; maybe you don’t really want the freedom that MLM can bring because you are happy with things just the way they are? And I don’t say that as if it is a bad thing – it isn’t; we are all different, and what is for one man is not necessarily for another. If that is you then you still need a reason to get up in the morning – a reason to keep doing what you do – and that is your ‘Why’.

If the 9-5 life is the one for you, while I want to encourage you to find your ‘Why’, I also want to challenge you to think big – think as if time and money were no object: as if the constraints of your life as it is do not stand in the way of the things you keep locked away because they see so far out of reach. If you can weigh your ‘unconstrained Why’ against your life as it is and find that it is balance, then you need to keep doing what you are doing. But if you find that the balance isn’t there, that your ‘unconstrained Why’ is out of reach, little more than a pipe-dream, then I want to encourage you to make a change. That change may not be MLM, it may not be the change we chose, but please don’t waste another moment living in a compromise – acknowledge your ‘Why’ and go after it.

So, what is your ‘Why’? I’m going to share mine in forthcoming posts, and I’d love to hear yours.

We were absolutely buzzing after we sneaked in to get our promotion at the end of last month. Realistically, the chances of going up anther level this month are slim: in fact to even harbour those sorts of thoughts is border-line fantasyland. However, in God all things are possible, and we have placed this business in His hands, so while we know it’s unlikely – we have to do four times our performance of last month to qualify – we know it certainly is not impossible!

To give the business to God is not to abdicate responsibility for activity, however, so we are very focused on doing what we can do; and what we can do is make our calls, follow through on our one-to-ones and show people the products. So far this month we have picked up another couple of customers and done a couple of one-to-ones. We also have another addition to the team and several people hovering on the brink of making the decision to start life on a new trajectory.

In addition to all of that, which is basically our regular day-to-day, we have designed, had printed and are in the process of delivering 2,500 postcards inviting people to find out more, which has already stimulated interest and some direct contact, and we took out an ad in the business opportunities section of the Worcester News. Both of those of opportunities cost us pretty much all the money we have made so far, but we have an eye on the future, and this felt like the next step we needed to take.

So, one-third of the way into the month the pace of growth isn’t where we need it to be to achieve our albeit unrealistic target, but with a great team alongside us, a fantastic sponsor and an amazing up-line we know we will be giving it our best shot; and when God takes our best shot and shapes it into his plans, who knows what the outcomes will be.

September is the month for the big push. At the very least we want to be in a position to secure our next promotion early in October. At the very best we want to be hitting that promotion this month. We will do what we can do and the rest is up to God.

One of the great things about this business – and there are many great things from which to choose – is that in any one of the 146 countries Forever Living is currently active you can build a team. Know someone in the ‘States? Great! Get building a team! Know someone in Uganda? Fantastic! Build a team! The Philippines? Wow! So get team building!

We know people in France, Australia, Switzerland, France, America and Canada. With just one phone call and no financial outlay we had set up our business in all of those countries. We were excited so we got straight onto it and started showing the business to friends in America, and we are really hopeful that they will choose the opportunity.

Well, a few days ago our international operation officially went active with some retail activity as we made our first sale in Canada! Not a massive sale in terms of value, but a simply monumental sale in terms of what it means for our business. No, I’m not talking about the actual pounds, shillings and pence; what I am talking about is the marker it put down in the sand.

For us, this is a business that releases dreams – our dreams, our kids dreams, and the dreams of everyone in our team – and in ‘going global’ we proved to ourselves that it can be done, that we really can achieve what we want to achieve and the only thing holding us back is us. I know that sounds really ‘cheesy’, but when you start really believing that anything is possible, you know what, anything is possible.

Are we there yet? No, but we are on our way!

The team is growing rapidly and we are really excited to be working with our team members. Our two latest ‘recruits’ have been inspiring, and if we continue to grow the team with the calibre of people we are currently attracting then the future looks exceedingly bright!

The idea of building a team – sharing a business opportunity and helping someone to navigate their way to a major life decision is not for everyone. It really could be for everyone, but we are all wired differently and for some it is not an appealing prospect; but in reality it’s like an injection – the thought of it is generally worse than the reality of it.

Anyway, for me the prospect of building a team pushes all my buttons and brings me to life, so I am loving this side if the business; and when you are working with a business model as good as this one and such an exceptional product it is hard not to be enthusiastic! And I am most definitely feeling enthusiastic!

I love to share this opportunity – I’ll share it with anyone who will stand still long enough to listen! It’s always disappointing when someone turns down the opportunity, but people have their reasons; but when someone sees it, really gets it, and grabs it with both hands there is nothing quite like it. Our latest team members get it, I mean really get it, and to be working with people who want to change their lives by taking control of their circumstances is a real privilege.

I totally love this business – for the first time in 18 years I am having fun at work!!